Week 4 has been a fairly quiet week for Blazes Training. We went out only twice as for the majority of the week I spent half the day under my duvet hiding. From what exactly, im not entirely sure. But what I am sure about is that the idea of pulling back my duvet and exposing myself to the world and facing the day felt like the most scariest thing I could do. Seeking refuge in the darkness hoping that the world would pass right by me. The more I thought about all there was to be done, the more I buried my head under my pillows, shut my eyes, and wished that the darkness would consume me. Wholly. Swallow me up. Snatch me from this life. Wanting everything to stop. End.
Where we're going
The Right Brain Introvert does not respond well to pressure. To the Right Brain Introvert everything feels like pressure, and it makes us freeze. The shutters come down. The only way to escape it is to hide. Hiding only makes things worse and so the pressure increase, so we hide deeper, which makes things worse, and so the pressure increases and so we hide deeper. Until you no longer even dare to look beyond your own eyelids! Or in my case your duvet. Introversion is a difficult emotion/ state of mind to explain. Probably because anyone introverted enough to empathise is also too frozen to put into words how it is they re feeling, or perhaps a better way to explain it would be to say that in actual fact, introversion is an absence, an absence of thought, feelings. Your empty. Just a shell.
Entering the woods
Without divulging too much, and talking about inappropriate things, personal things, I guess you could say my little Right Brain Introverted brain is riddled with Demons. The way my brain is wired, memories that haunt and taunt, people and events that have warped my perspectives. This isnt a sympathy seeking "Oh woe is me!" post. It just sometimes gets really hard to stay on top of things, deal with things, function like a normal human being when your own mind can be such a self destructive place to live!
Despite my little demons running rampant in my old sweed this week Blaze went out twice and she did really great. We went along the road all the way up the long steep hill to the pic nic area and she managed to trot more of it than she did last time. Progress. This is a ride that I started in week 2 and blogged about, I had planned to do once a week but so far have only managed it twice.
The second ride we did we did half of the same hill, but instead of carrying up to the pic nic area we turned into the woods and did a big figure 8 up some longer hills. Lots of trotting, really getting stuck into this "next gear' we've been working in the past week. She has been doing really great and hasnt struggled with the new pace at all. Every ride we push just that little teeny bit more, just those extra few strides and she loves it. She is really enjoying being back in training. I had left it late in the day to take Blaze out but was determined to get her out nonetheless so at 6 pm when it was raining, miserable and getting dark me and Blaze were out in the woods, training, and I felt right at home. Weeks like this it might be really hard to stand tall, stop hiding, get up, get out and do what needs to be done. Im not going to lie, the horses and training can be more of a reason to hide sometimes but when im in that saddle everything seems free and clear.
"Horse let us borrow freedom and lend us the wings we lack"
6pm. Its getting dark. It raining. Its miserable and we're out training!
Me and Blaze went out 3 times last week as once again I was quite busy with the other horses too. I was contemplating registering Shinobi and Piggles with EGB this year too and im glad i decided not to as putting 3 horses into training i think would be near impossible! At least not till the clocks change and I can do 8,9,10 hour days with them again! Bring on summer!
We have been focusing on her muscles. Stretching the ones she damaged in the accident and working her heart rate.
We've been upping the anti and whilst still doing very hilly rides we're also doing alot of trotting and cantering, so much so that Blaze is still out of puff by the time we get home so we're having to play some circling game at the walk before we call it a day so as to help bring her heart rate down and just to insure that she has 'warmed down' properly. This is something im alot more vigilant about this time round seeing as Blaze is now 19 years old and not 11!
She is doing so well. Its not until we ride out with my friend and her fitter Arabs that I realise just how amazing Blaze is a hill work. Whilst my friends Arab is trying to run up them, building as much momentum as possible to help propel him forwards Blaze sticks to a walk, her head down and her hind powering her forwards. When we get to the top, by comparison, she is barely puffing, nostrils barely flared and less a minuet later she is ready to trot off again. Whilst we cant maintain a trot for very long up hills at the moment Blaze has got a really good recovery rate, she has always had a good recovery rate. Her heart rate returns to her resting pulse rather quickly which I think is testament to her over all fitness even when out of work, Blaze lives out 24/7 and I strongly believe that horses who live like this remain fitter than horses who are stabled.
We have also been focusing on suppleness also. Even before we had the car accident Blaze was always described as "wooden" by my instructor and friends who I let ride her (Yes, once upon a time I had an instructor, we're talking about 9 years ago though!) but Blaze's inability to bend and flex became 10 times worse after the care crash. In the accident she ripped open her stifle on the left and sustained major soft tissue damage down her neck, forequarter and back on the right from the impact of the trailer flipping and Piggles landing on top of her. The surgeons at Tewkesbury Three Counties Hospital said that the soft tissue damage Blaze had sustained was by far more severe than her stifle wound.
Blaze had physio every 4 weeks for 12 months after the accident and was treated by the top psychotherapist in the area. It was a very difficult task to help loosen her muscles, she was being treated with all sorts of techniques and brand new gismo and gadgets over her 2 hour sessions. Whilst she would have improved by the end of her session no matter how many times we did her stretches and pole work exercises by the next session she had always tightened up again. She has always suffered tightness ever since. Its like her neck, shoulder and rib cage are one solid piece of wood. Its hard to flex and bend them and to get them to move separately. Whilst she has never been in any pain, she has sailed up and over mountains since the accident, and still maintains her super amazing, one of a kind iconic super extended trot Iv known that suppleness has never been Blazes strong point.
Now that she is back in training and is doing more I feel it is important that this be something we work on, helping her to use her body more effectively, and be as comfortable as possible, so prior to our rides we have been focusing our online sessions on suppleness. We have started with the basics which she has struggled with but we are definitely making improvements and it is definitely setting us up for some nice rides. So far we have been focusing on;
Lateral flexion. Bring him nose round to her shoulder, then her side and working towards her flanks. Her left side is by far her worse side, I imagine because her right side is the side that is tight and cant stretch to allow her to bend to the left.
Disengaging the hind whilst holding lateral flexion. Once her lateral flexion improved i asked her to hold is and then swing her hindquarters away. Blaze initially found this very hard. She wanted to straighten out her body and then side step her bum around. This is what i meant when i said it like the first half of her body is one solid piece and doesnt like to move separately. She has made some lovely progress with this and it is becoming less and less of an issue.
Bending on the circle. Blaze is always very straight on the circle. So much so that on a shorter line her circles are circles at all, they are more ovals and when it comes to the archs she has to slow down, often walking 'the corner' then trotting a straight line. So every time she straightens out the the circle iv tipped her nose towards me and pushed her ribs away from me so as to create a bend/ arch in her body, trying to get some bend and suppleness in her ribcage. It took a while for her to understand what I was asking but we got there and she was doing some nice stuff. Definite improvement
Sideways whilst bending. Iv also been asking her to bend through her ribcage by pushing her sideways. Similar to what i ask on the circle i tip her nose towards me and push her ribs out, asking her sidepass.
Forequarter yields. We have also been doing lots of forequarter yields too, trying to get her to really cross her legs over and stretch out hoping it will help to loosen off her shoulders too.
If anyone else has some online exercises (by online I mean on-a-line, with a halter and lead rope. Its come to my attention that when I say online people think I mean something to do with the Internet!) that think might help Blaze to loosen up and stretch id like to hear them, thank you.
Weeks like this it might be really hard to stand tall, stop hiding, get up, get out and do what needs to be done. Im not going to lie, the horses and training can be more of a reason to hide sometimes but when im in that saddle everything seems free and clear.
